I admit it: my son has a problem.
Yes, some kids put everything in their mouth – toys, blankets, other children: My 18-monther prefers anything from OfficeMax. He eats school supplies the way some kids eat fruit snacks.
You think you’ve gotten every crayon and pen your 4 year old left on the floor. There isn’t a writing utensil in sight.
And then junior rounds the corner with an inky purple goatee and grape colored droll streaming out the side of his mouth and down his pajamas, chewing the top of a marker like gum. And two words come quickly to mind:
“Epic failure.”
And the next? “DCFS”!
Make no mistake: if we have to resort to using smoke signals I will do it. If I have to tell my daughter she can no longer color at home that’s what I will do. But pulling orange waxy chunks o’ crayon off of sharp toddler teeth rarely ends well and my nerves are frayed.
I wonder I there is a support group out there: Moms who love toddlers who love Crayola. Perhaps I will start one.
Oh wait: that one is from “moms who love toddlers who love buckets..”
The Mischief of Minions 
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